I can imagine it was a still night. I wonder if the presence of His disciples could even ease that awful stress that began to rest upon the purest of all minds. He asks for them to wait for Him. I don't know that it is 'imperfect' to feel afraid; to feel the need for love- yearning for someone to say "It is going to be ok.. I won't leave you" It must have hurt to hear that from His dear friends, and yet KNOW He'll still be alone soon.
He begins to step away... He begins to feel it. That excrutiating sorrow, mounting within Him.. And here.. I wonder if He knew what he would face, for He knew us, yet He had not fully experienced us..until this point. By now He had organized His perfect church under Heavenly Father's direction, as it had been on the Earth since Adam- since a prophet of God lived, despite having it fall apart time and time again because of ignorance of the world. This perfect church by and of Him would heal the body, the mind, the heart, the soul.. for time, and for Eternity.
He had led the way His whole life.
I wonder if He hoped Peter could be there for Him.. for Peter couldn't be there for Him. The Savior was willing to die 1000 times over for each of us, for each one of us- so GREAT was His incomprehensible compassion.. and then He DID! Yet right before, right as it began to start.. He felt inadequete- He, the SAVIOR OF THE WORLD- the Son Of God..
He went a little further, and in His unrelenting agony, bowed to the only one left to turn to.
"O My Father..." Abba, Daddy.. This grown, beautiful Son Of God.. this absolute epitome of the kindest sweetheart, the dearest friend, the most patient teacher, this jovial and cheery, powerful man.. began to cry. To sob. And like an innocent child, He asks if Father was willing to make the pain go away.. but as a perfectly matured man, reemphasizes that He will do whatever He needs to.. to get us home.
He was left totally alone. Not even the presence of an angel could rescue Him from OUR hurt. OUR suffering, and the whole Earth's; from the beginning to the end of the world! He gave ALL he had, which was more than we'll EVER mortally have. He experienced US. Abandoned, disgraced, cast beneath the darkest of Hell, disowned.. so that we don't have to be.
Who could know us when every corner rejects or misunderstands?! Who could support us with hope while IN our failures?? Because to some degree, every one of us has taken a step or two, towards Gethsemane, and sometimes five.. but the Savior was the only who went the whole way. To rescue me, and many so that we can help Him rescue others. To rescue His others to show us all that never are we permanently cast into unending torment, left alone.. BECAUSE the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ LIVES. He now in almighty power holds the keys to freeing us from spiritual and physical death!
Mary held that precious child, who would redeem her, who would give HER Eternal Life.. and she was told a sword would pierce through her own soul. In time she would watch her own Son crucified; abandoned even of Heaven to suffer that final, AWFUL blow of spiritual death on the cross..and then, when it was finished- when evil was conquered FOREVER then and there- He would physically die before her eyes.
..and none of us would ever have to be spiritually abandoned again.
All of us would be resurrected.
Father in Heaven, so loving US perfectly, allowed his most intelligent and righteous child to go in our place when we fell short in ANY way, to make sure- that through the commandments, through Eternal channels and ordinances in our life.. we could, through HIS Son who was sacrificed, return Home to Him.. and even then, find joy in this life through the fulness of His gospel.
I testify with every ounce of my soul and physical being.. that He lives. I know it more than anything I've ever known. He is the source of every good thing that does or can happen to us. He is the light and the life of the world.
3 Nephi 17:17 3 Nephi 20:25-27
