We enter life. We pursue things. We fall. We get back up. We fall. Does it matter then, that there IS one who cannot fail, this Jesus, this Savior of the world? Who overcame EVERYTHING (everything.), and cannot ever let anyone down? Ever? At all!?!?! OF COURSE IT DOES!! If he can do it, WE CAN, and because he did it- it allows for us to have that chance as well. He gave his all- opening the door for us to give our all, and yet, to fall again and again, until we finally get it- and then grow even more, cycling ever upward in this life of spiritual, mental, physical and emotional interval training. We learn by scripture study of others' experience and day to day observations, or through our own suffering by our own experience, the route necessary to have happiness. One of the most instrumental factors to this comes down to not only allowing the Savior to enhance our personal abilities, our ambitions, and relieve us of our downfalls- but to enhance our very character, our very thoughts, and our very soul. It is in enhancing that part of us, that we can more wonderfully experience joy.
It may surprise you to know (actually, in my case, it probably won't surprise you that much ;) that we missionaries are quite human. Sometimes we don't want to do or be, sometimes we don't feel good enough- we are subject to the same temptations and stresses of life that every mortal that comes here, is subject to. So how do we stay so strong? How can we press forward with unflinching dedication? Because of the Savior. His power CANNOT fail, he cannot let us down when we ask Heavenly Father, THROUGH HIM, for what he WANTS to empower us with. He can't deny us progress. It is impossible. He came here for us to progress. His purpose is for us to progress. You. Me. Everybody.
When I tell God my bitter thoughts or wearinesses and plea for relief, I never, never feel cynicism, scoffing, constraint or compulsive need for control or condemnation, or derision. Never, not even in the hours of my life where such behavior deserved such correction.
I feel love. Pure, unconditional love, and peace, understanding and empathy. I remember the desires I have from the Lord from my mission- to learn to rely on him first, and I see that in many moments he is the only one to turn to. He tells me and begs me just to stay and press on. He emphasizes the promised blessings if I just but continue forward. He calms rage or discouragement with gentle care, soothes irritation with understanding, satiates loneliness with warmth and fills senses of worthlessness with a recognition of my identity and divinity; he washes my hopelessness with windows to a gleaming future I could not have even imagined, and lifts my sorrows by teaching me that everything I even experience now is preparatory to the next suffering man or woman I meet on the street. He subdues panic with peace, and slows rebellious emotion with open arms. Consequently- I become stronger, my inner being is stricken to greater life, greater perspective, greater utter and total bliss. My external actions follow.
I know he will do the same for YOU. I know it with every fiber of my being and that is why I am here. But we have to ask. We have to seek to know him.
God cares, and knowing he cares changes everything. Because we can fall, we WILL fall- but he never will. And because he never will, he will never leave us. This is the most precious, most grand reality that can be and I yearn with my soul, heart and mind for the world to have it. Learn of the Savior. Love him. For how dearly, how intimately, how deeply does he love you. He aches to bless you. Find out for yourself.
